Sunday, July 24, 2011

Foaming and squirting and fizzing, oh my!

I hate Coca Cola. 

No, I am not a Pepsi fan with a vendetta against Coke (I still don't understand that battle; they're both gross). Why, might you ask, do I hate it so? One word. 


Disgusting, overflowing, unrelenting, and abounding foam.

When I work on the register at my job, part of my job is to fill drinks for customers when they pay for their order. Dion's gets pretty busy during our rushes and as a cashier, I have become skilled at helping customers order quickly and efficiently. Filling fountain drinks usually doesn't take that long unless they order the dreaded drink. Yep, Coke. 

Whenever I go to fill a cup with Coke, I usually leave it for a little bit while the foam dies down. I'll go run the ticket, grab a drink, run to the restroom, clean out my car, call my best friend, and the foam STILL won't have depleted more than an inch. Ok, perhaps that was a bit of an exaggeration; it still takes a long time. When it finally sinks down, there's only 2/3 of the cup filled with the soda. Frustration.

Filling a cup with Coke is better during a rush, even if it does waste a lot of time, because at least everyone is busy doing something and not staring at you. Everything becomes a lot more awkward when it's just you and the customer, standing there and waiting for the Coke to fizz down. At this point in the transaction, I've usually used up all of my small talking points ("It looks hot out there!" "Having a good day?" "Pastrami-good choice!") and instead, I end up making an uncomfortable comment like, "There sure is a lot of fizz in there! So much fizz. A lot. Whole bunch."

The foam of a fountain drink shouldn't make that much of a difference to me, but if you know me, I like to do things quickly. I talk quickly (so people tell me), type quickly, and I sometimes drive quickly. I have a weird of phobia of telling stories too slowly and I try to overcome that by talking faster than most people can comprehend. That'll fix it. All in all, Coke really kills my buzz.

It's not just Coke that drives me crazy. Root Beer and Cherry Coke (a close cousin to the fiendish Coca Cola) are both guilty of excess foam and Dr. Pepper keeps squirting erratically and spilling when I least expect it. Punk. This is why I prefer water over carbonation. 

I just looked up who invented carbonation: Joseph Priestly from England. The jerk.


Suzette Rovelsky said...

Dude, we have pepsi at Wings. Here's a little trick I learned from the bartender: you can either tip the pop slightly to remove the foam while you fill it up or just pour foam and hit button. Pour out foam, hit button. It goes by much quicker. Granted the side of your cup might be a little sticky, but my customers never complain. THEY BETTER NOT CUZ THAT PEPSI AIN'T COMING OUT ANY FASTER WAY!

Rachel Bailey said...

Ha ha! I love it! I'll def have to try out those tricks! (Thankfully, I only have another week on the job. CRAZY!)

Jilltrombone said...

dude ya. just tip it to the side enough so it doesn't get on the cup but so you get all the foam out. maybe coke is worse than pepsi. but all i know is diet pepsi DOESN'T foam and that is kinda scary... especially cause diet in the long run is WAAAAAY worse for you. but dude. good luck. it is an art to master the filling-of-the-cup. but i'm sure you can get it :D at least your manager isnt breathing down your neck yelling at you to do it faster haha :D
(the sad thing is how excited i am over this post haha. work has taken over our little lives!)
ps: you rock my world and i LOVE your blog!! :D :D :D