Stomach Bugs and Frozen Toes

Coming back from break hasn't been the smoothest transition this semester. The actual traveling wasn't as bad as it normally seems, especially seeing that our day started by waking up at 5 AM, taking 2 planes, a bus, waiting outside a bus terminal for an hour in 2º weather, and taking another train to Provo, finally arriving home at 4 PM.

The worst part was the next day. I woke up earlier than my alarm on Sunday morning, a rarity in itself, and had an unmistakable pain in my stomach. I'm no stranger to stomach pain, but this felt different and more persistent. I tried to go back to sleep, hoping that the pain would leave, but it didn't. It reached a peak as we were getting ready for church in the morning. I was incapacitated all day as I lay on the couch, waiting for death to come (just kidding, but really). I watched practically an entire season of West Wing online and hoped that it would pass.

Well, it hasn't.

Thankfully, my body has a wonderful coping mechanism with dealing with pain: sleep. I was somehow able to fall asleep and sleep the rest of the night, waking up with a lesser version of the same pain. It's the first day of school. First days are usually so exciting for me! I love buying new notebooks, organizing my dividers into different classes, and meeting new teachers. This year, I feel more like laying in the entryway of the JFSB and hoping nobody will notice the girl nestled in her coat on the floor. I dislike my stomach very much for taking away one of the most positive days of the semester. Let's be honest, it'll all downhill from the first day on.

Just in case my stomach wasn't enough to bum me out, Utah has decided to take on the characteristics of Serbia with 2-inch thick ice on the roads and sidewalks, a perfect trap for my non-grippy Converse shoes. It was a balmy 1º when I woke up, but it has since digressed to a ridiculous 0º with a light dusting of snow. Sickening.

However, there's one nice thing to consider. If my semester is starting out this great, than the rest of the semester is bound to be uphill from here. Right?

Bitter But Oh So Sweet

I've discovered something this past week as I have been enduring this never-ending cold. I assert that the value of cold medicine can be measured by how horrific it tastes. No really, hear me out.

Heartbreaker #1

I started out last week with a full bag of Halls Mentho-lyptus Tropical Fruit cough drops which have a fruity taste with that menthol aftertaste that helps you remember you are still eating a cough drop. But they still taste pretty decent in comparison to the other lozenges on the market and for that reason, I believe they are less effective. I was sitting in English Language yesterday morning with a horrible tickle in my throat that made it impossible to stop coughing. I had not 1 but 2 of these fruity cough drops in my mouth and I spent the entire class period trying to hold back my cough as I tried not to notice the dirty looks of my classmates. I finally had to leave class to take a water break for fear of losing one or both of my lungs. Those cough drops failed me in my time of need and are therefore dead to me.

Refreshingly disgusting

After a miserable day of coughing and whispering the word "death" to myself over and over again, I was ready to invest in a different kind of medication. I went to Smith's that night with my roommates to go grocery shopping and as I stood in the cold medicine aisle, I assessed the different varieties of cough drops. Which one sounds the most disgusting and has the most horrible flavor. Fruit Breezers can hardly be classified as cough drops; I'm still waiting for them to finally own up and begin to sell them next to the lifesavers in the candy aisle. Finally, I found the Halls Mentho-lyptus cough drops. No flavor. No measly attempt to make cough drops delicious. They are so gross. I love them!

The same is true of liquid cold medicine. After one too many sleepless nights spent coughing into my pillow and stressing over different conjugations of verbs in French, I broke down and got some Day and Night cold medicine. The Night medicine is a strange metallic green that reminds me of nuclear waste and tastes like death. I hate the taste; I dance around my room making overdramatic faces and promising my roommate that I will surely die from it and then I fall asleep peacefully 3 minutes later. There is a connection here, my friends! Nasty medicine actually cures your cold while tasteless or, even worse, delicious medicine brings nothing but pessimism and crushed dreams.