Last Lectures

The ends of semesters are an interesting time for me. There's stress that comes with working on 5 different projects and papers at once, there's little sleep, and there's also hope for a respite from everything. But there are also goodbyes. I'm not good at goodbyes in general, and it's always hard to say goodbye to friends in classes. ELang is a relatively small major, and I see all the same people in most of my classes for the past year or two. We joke during class, share our stress about tests, find out little snippets about each others' lives, and in general, we get used to seeing each other every day. It's obviously not the same as your best friends or your family, but they are kind of like a support system from school.

I don't hang out with my school friends outside of school, mainly because I hang out with Aaron most of the time and my time is already limited with everything I am working on. But they are great people, and in some different time or place, I like to think we could be good friends. And yet after 3 or 4 semesters together, numerous homework assignments, and group projects, they go from being strangers to friends to what?

I have these great friends, and yet I usually don't have a poignant last phrase that summarizes our friendship, because it seems kind of dramatic and overdone. Instead I say, "See you later." I choose to believe we'll see each other again someday.

Last day of classes of winter semester. Phew.

Food Blogger Wannabe

I'm a food blogger addict. I admit it. It's where I find about everything I make, and I like to think that maybe one day I'll join their ranks. Of course, that means I should work on posting more of my recipes that I make. I'll try working on that.

In my Chum class (Print Publishing), my final project is to make a book of some sort. I immediately thought of making a recipe book for all of my favorite food blogger recipes! Of course, it has taken a loooooooooong time. There's so much formatting and nit-picky details to look at, but it's almost done and I'm pleased with the result! Here's a little peek into my hard work!

Not only am I working on that project, but Aaron also showed me how to manipulate HTML so that I can create food pages on my blog. It's so much easier than all of the other ways I was trying to create them before. Take a look at the pages on the top of my page and see if you like it! I can't wait to add more dishes!

Insect War II. Bring it!

I had a lovely weekend.

Up first, I worked with my group to finish a magazine group layout project. We created a layout for The Sweet Tooth Fairy, this delicious little cupcake shop that started in Orem. I think it turned out pretty good! What do you think? 

Of course printing this little beast was a different matter. First, I didn't print out the bleed correctly, and then I cut out the last page a little wrong. When I tried to print off the last page again, they were working on that printer, and I had to use a different printer which printed out a slightly different version of the colors. Thankfully, my professor allows us a few freebies on printing. She wasn't kidding when she told us printing was going to be the bane of our existence.

On Sunday, I made these delicious beauties:

Soft-baked Peanut Butter Chocolate Swirl Cookies. Oh, these were tasty. Yes, it does involve making 2 different cookies doughs, but they were both so easy to make that it only took me about 20 minutes total to make both of them! You should know before you start out that it requires a little refrigeration to help the dough not be too sticky. I'll definitely make this recipe again! I'm even considering what other smash cookies I could make: mint with dark chocolate? Snickerdoodle with sugar?

Check out the recipe here.

Choir practice yesterday was a huge success! We had a 200% increase in turnout. Of course, ward choir is still mainly a women's choir, but hey! Aaron's got an actual choir to conduct! We were giddy with excitement. Maybe word got around about how delicious my cookies are. Yeah, I bet that's it.

Also, I found 3 different spiders in the apartment on Sunday. Aaron was there, mercifully, so they were killed swiftly, but it's got me on edge. They weren't huge. I'd classify them as a small-medium, one as a baby-size, but if the small-mediums are showing up, then there could be some big Grandpas and Grandmas hanging around, too. I'm going to grab that insect spray and keep it out in the open. I'm sure Bri will be excited by the spiders return, but I'm not. They're going down.

Maybe Mondays Can Be OK Too?

I found an amazing Snickerdoodle recipe. Seriously, they turned out perfectly. I've been working on bribing people making cookies for ward choir to help Aaron get more choir members. We've been advertising the different cookies we're making, and this week's cookie was a hit.

I found this super easy recipe. Throw the ingredients in a Kitchen Aid, and you're good to go!

Snickerdoodles
Makes about 18 delicious, mouth-watering cookies

Ingredients
1 c. white sugar
1/2 c. firmly packed dark brown sugar
3 c. all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. kosher salt
3 eggs
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract

Additional, for coating cookie dough: (I only used about half the amount of the mixture)
1/4 c. white sugar
1 Tbsp. cinnamon

Directions
The first step is browning the butter. (I didn't even know you could do that!) Melt 1 1/2 sticks of butter in a skillet over medium heat, and stir continuously until the butter starts to form and turns a light golden brown. Immediately remove from heat and add remaining 1/2 stick of butter to pan and set aside to cool.

Line baking sheets with parchment paper (we sprayed the pan with cooking spray) and preheat oven to 425 degrees.

Get out your lovely Kitchen Aid, combine sugar, brown sugar, flour, cinnamon, baking soda, and salt. Mix the dry ingredients on low speed until it's just combined.

Add cooled butter, eggs, and vanilla and mix again until it's just combined.

Scoop out about 2 tablespoons of dough and form into a ball. Roll balls in cinnamon sugar mixture to coat and place on cookie sheet. Flatten the cookie dough balls slightly by using the back of a measuring cup.

Bake for about 7 minutes and let cool. They should be really undercooked when you take them out so they can finish cooking on the pan and are a nice, soft texture.

Recipe adapted from No. 2 Pencil

What else is great about Monday?

It's the beginning of March, which means that we're smack dab in the middle of the semester. This winter semester is flyin' by! Hoo boy. 

Aaron let me pick out new shoes for my birthday, and I picked out these little beauties. Navy-blue polka dots, how can I resist?

WCC starts this week and I'm hankerin' to watch our Cougars kick some butt!

Maybe this week won't be so bad after all!

Parking Lot Hunts

This school year is definitely in full swing. I'm starting to have a feel for the timing of all of my classes, how long it takes me to walk from each classroom, where I'll sit in between classes, the whole shebang. Aaron has his classes at 9 AM each morning, but I don't have classes until 11 AM most days or at 3 PM on Tuesdays/Thursdays. My work hours are so flexible that I don't need to clock in right at 9 AM each day. This means that I am in charge of parking each morning.

Parking on campus has to be one of my least favorite things in the world. If you're not on campus by 7:45 AM, it's almost impossible to find a spot in one of the approved student parking lots (don't even get me started on the wasted spaces that are set aside for faculty and staff). This usually means finding a spot on the street and hoofing it up the mountain to campus. I don't mind, really, because I am always sure to bring my iPod that currently has the audiobook of "The Help" on it. It is simply marvelous.

I have recently learned a trick to finding parking spots in the parking lot. The key is to arrive around 3 minutes before the hour when some students are returning to their cars after an 8 AM class. Unfortunately, I am not the only one who discovered this trick. There is usually about 3–4 cars swooping around the parking lot like vultures at this exact time trying to grab spots from the students who are leaving. Nasty litttle creatures. It's a strategy game, really. The key is to wait at the front or end of the rows so you can see the student going towards their car and you can "call dibs" on their spot. I've even seen people who ask the person if they are leaving and if they can have their spot. This is cheating, in my opinion. I believe whoever is in the perfect place to get their spot should get it! And whoever turns their blinker on indicating they are taking the spot wins. It's common courtesy.

I've been beaten out the last few days by more clever drivers than me. I didn't realize one guy was waiting for a spot until he narrowed his eyes dangerously at me over the steering wheel. I quickly backed away, averting my eyes, and giving an awkward hand wave that I meant to indicate, "It's all yours, man." I hate getting beaten.

Parking is no joke at BYU. We mean business.

It's a Deadly Business

Aaron recommended that I rethink my career as editor.

Take a look. It can be a bit nasty.

In other news, my teachers expect me to take my ginormous Shakespeare Norton Anthology and my even larger Chicago Manual of Style with me to campus everyday. Not to mention a portfolio for my homework in CHum 230. And my computer. And a 5-subject notebook.

That means I will look like this all semester:

Uh yep.

How true this is.

Is it winter semester yet?

Man oh man, I have finalized my winter semester schedule! I'm a little jazzed. Here's the rundown:

Early Modern English -- I talked to the teacher of my section recently and she said we will be studying Hamlet as one of our main literary works! How did she know it's my favorite Shakespeare play?

Shakespeare -- Even more Shakespeare! Bam!

Sociolinguistics -- This class is taught by my department head, Dr. Eggington. He's from Australia and he's brilliantly witty. I have been dying to have a class from him since I saw his devotional a last year!

Print Publishing -- I will finally become the master of InDesign and figure out how to create layouts for magazines!

Genre and Substantive Editing -- The next step in becoming a fully fledged editor. I'm a little (or a lot) excited to move on from commas and dashes and start to figure out how to critique the big picture!

Look at that beauty. 5 classes, 15 credits, and they're all English Language heavy! I'm so excited! Not to mention that I have a nice 3 hour break on MWF, and I don't have to be on campus until 3 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Sure, I'll be working during most of those hours, but I'll have so much more time than this semester, it's crazy! It's my last big semester at BYU, and I am sure ready to move on from this semester's classes and have a fresh start with new teachers and new subjects. Now if I can just motivate myself to make it through the last few weeks of the semester. Bluh.

Spiders and Tests

It's 4 AM last Wednesday. I hadn't been awake that early on a weekday since my ridiculously early seminary class my senior year of high school (whoever thought that 5:15 AM seminary was a plausible idea should really rethink that concept). I stumbled out of bed, popped a blueberry bagel in the toaster, found my way to the couch and resumed studying the piles of notes laying over the ottoman and surrounding couch cushions. I was scheduled to take my second midterm, which is also the most important in terms of grading, for my English Usage class that day after class. After about a week and a half of diligent studying, at least 2 meltdowns to Aaron, and an upset stomach that was responding to my stress levels, this was my last 3 hour window to study.

I felt like a zombie, trying to keep each eyelid open through sheer force of will, realizing that I needed this last study session to be productive. I stumbled my way to the bathroom and that's when I saw it. It was the biggest spider I had ever seen indoors, standing right by my shower door. I froze, panic stricken. It's 4 AM in my new apartment, no one is around and I am positive that my neighbors upstairs would not appreciate a vacuum going off at 4 AM. As we stood there, staring at each other, it was as if we created an unspoken agreement. I didn't have the courage to kill it and he would know better than to be in plain sight in the near future. I backed out of the room, allowing him free reign of that side of the apartment for the time being. This isn't just a story of my first creepy critter encounter in my own apartment; no, this spider is actually the only reason I stayed awake that morning.

After I returned to the living room, I was mildly petrified and jumpy, waiting for the spider to round the corner with a machine gun or something. As nerve wracking as that was, you better believe I was awake after that! I made it through my 4 hours of studying without falling asleep once and I felt better than ever about the test.

I took the test. I felt like the champion of the world when I turned it in. I aced it. As much as I know I can attribute my grade to my diligence in studying, I must give due credit to the spider who scared the pants off of me that morning. Without that underlying terror, I'm not sure I would have been able to review as effectively. However, that truce ended tonight when I returned home from a visit to Albuquerque and found him in my bathroom once more. Thankfully, Aaron was there to do the dirty job, sparing me the task of breaking our truce of cooperation. Let there be a moment of silence for my spider. Your sacrifice will not be soon forgotten.

Now Run Around Like a Crazy Person!

It has been far too long since I have posted on here. My dear mother was kind enough to remind me of this fact yesterday:

 To my credit, I have a few excuses. Working 20 hours a week, attending 2 classes, planning a wedding, attempting to remain social with my friends, and lots of family time. It has been one crazy spring semester! I have had so many blessings these past few weeks, it's seriously a miracle.

1) I have managed to survive these classes. I'm currently taking my upper level grammar class and I am finishing up my last French class EVER! Hold on. Is this real life? I ask myself that often. It's not that I hate French, I just hate how much time I spend on a class that isn't directly linked to my major. But in just 3 days, I shall be done forever! Ah blissful day! Considering that it's summer, beautiful weather and no one else seems to be taking classes around me except for one of my roommates, my motivation to study has not been significantly high the past few weeks. In spite of that. I have managed to do well on my tests and assignments and I with a bit of hard work this week, I should finish this semester in good graces. I am fully aware of the Lord's hand in my life as He has helped me with these tests.

2) I just got the job of my college career. The best part is I didn't even know I was applying for it! My boss at my custodial job, Renea, told us a week ago that she leaving to go to Seattle to pursue her career goals. We are all really excited for her but to be honest, she was one of the last things tying me to that job. My job has been wonderful this past year because it has given me so much flexibility with school and health problems. However, I have aspired to graduate with some more relevant job experience to put on my resumé. Then I found the job. I applied for an Administrative Assistant position but while I was explaining my experience with editing, he offered me a different position! I am currently the editor for the Ancient Text department through the Maxwell Center and I'll be spending the summer editing a book that is up for publication and I will be spending the rest of the year working with the publications department on their various publications. It all hit me when I asked how long the job would last and he said in his charming British accent, "Ideally, forever. Or at least until you graduate."

Stars began to flash before my eyes and it really hit me: I'm going to help publish books. This is my dream! It was impossible to keep a smile off my face as I accepted the job and floated all the way home. Did I mention that it is a 30 second walk from my apartment right now?

3) My biggest blessing in my life is my wonderful fiancé. He's my best friend and he helps me through everything. He's helping me reestablish my study habits by going to the library with me 2 hours a day while he studies for the GMAT, eats dinner with me almost every night, listens to all of my stories, laughing at my jokes (even the ones that aren't funny), and letting me cry on his shoulder when the pressures get too big. It has been a difficult semester in some respects, simply due to the pressures of planning and studying and trying to maintain work hours. I have heard it said before, but once you start making incredible decisions like preparing for a mission or getting engaged, the world seems to fight against you and tries to stop you. Despite the pressures and stress, I know that nothing can stop me in my pursuit of happiness. With my family, loved ones and my Savior on my side, I know that I cannot fail.

61 days until I become Rachel Taylor. The goal is in sight!

Ma Maison

I've been having an interesting day today. It's the last day of classes for winter semester and I find myself, once again, shocked at how fast this semester has gone. I still feel like I should be somewhere in the interminable month of March, wishing, hoping, and waiting for midterms to pass by swiftly.

I'm graduating a year earlier than normal; my anticipated graduation date is currently August 2013. This puts me in a crazy position of going from a sophomore in college to...a senior? I think I'll consider this Spring/Summer segment as my junior year just so I can avoid senioritis for as long as possible. But realistically, when Fall comes, I will be considered a senior in my college career. Is anyone else a little (or a lot) freaked out by this? There will be a lot of hard work between now and then, to be sure. 2 years of straight classes without major breaks is no cake walk. But the end is within sight. Beautiful.

The video I posted is called, "La Maison en Petits Cubes". We watched it in my French class this past week and I can't help but keep thinking about it. When I first saw it, I thought, Why doesn't he just move somewhere else? I couldn't understand why he stayed in the same place and chose to build multiple levels onto his house instead of simply leaving. This past week, I changed my hometown on my Facebook profile. It used to say Wichita, KS because that is where I was born and spent the first 3 years of life. However, when a friend pointed it out to me, I realized that, of course, Wichita is not my hometown! Not really. I changed it to Omaha, NE. That's my base, my history, my place of growth. With this change and with my latest realization about the impending end of my college career, I have spent a good amount of time reminiscing lately.

After watching this video, I began to think about what my own house would look like if I stacked each part of my life on top of one another. My bedroom in the brown house in Omaha. Elkhorn High School where I went from a timid, slightly awkward freshman to a talkative junior who made incredible, life-long friends. My angular room in Albuquerque that once felt like a stranger's room rather than my own. My first apartment at BYU. My second apartment. My life really isn't much different than the man living his teetering house underwater. Although I move to different places and my life shifts with every changing season, I carry my memories and the shadows of my past friends with me. The exhilaration of conducting a marching band for the first time and the wonderful peace that came when people asked me to sit and eat lunch with them on my first day of school in Albuquerque. Old friends, first loves, I carry them all with me.

I am a woman made of cubes.

I Want To Be Scarlett O'Hara

It's been a busy couple of weeks. Yikesabee. Here are some of the things I have been up to!

I gave blood at the American Red Cross and I had an unfortunate incident where my vein rolled out of the way of the needle. I'm not kidding. It rolled. I know you're jealous; I've got ninja veins. The other arm worked perfectly and after two weeks, my giant bruise is finally gone! 

I switched with one of the tenor saxophones in the Men's Pep Band so that he could travel with his wife with the Woman's Basketball team and I could travel with Aaron with the Men's Basketball team. We left early Monday morning and traveled to Dayton, Ohio.

I got to meet a few of the players. I had a nice awkward conversation in the elevator with this player, Chris Collinsworth. "Where are you from?" "Albuquerque. Actually BYU. I'm actually in the band." "Oh. Well, thanks for supporting us." "Thank you for letting us...come...support you." 

Watched an incredible game against Iona! NCAA history making game where we had a comeback of 25 points! There's a picture of us from when they showed us on ESPN. Yes, that is me on the top row, second from the right, screaming as loud as I could. Best game ever. 

If I could put how I felt into one visual image, this would be it!

We made our way down to Louisville, Kentucky for the first round NCAA game. We visited Churchill Downs, the famous arena for the Kentucky Derby!

Every girl has wanted to date a cowboy at some point in their life. For me, I first fell in love with Curly from Oklahoma. Lucky me, Aaron happens to be a part-time cowboy! Just ask him to sing you one of his cowboy songs. You'll love it.

My dreams of becoming a southern belle became clearer.

I got to hang out with great friends and my great roommate, Jill.

Then, there was the sad Marquette game. To be fair, they're a Number 3 seed. We knew they'd be tough.

We came back late Thursday night and it's back to business as usual! Tests, midterms, homework assignments, and projects galore. To make myself feel better, I made myself this delicious Nutella Banana Bread that has pretty much made all of my dreams come true. Try it. Hasn't my picture convinced you?

Angel of...French Conjugations?

I've discovered something slightly alarming about myself. Remember how I discovered the Colin Firth on my shoulder when I do my Phonetics homework? I'd like to introduce you to my Angel of Music... I mean, my Angel of French.

His name is Jean Pièrre. Often when I am lost in a train of thought or my Semantics and Pragmatics teacher begins to tell the same story for the 5th time, I enter this zone of non-thought. That's when he comes to me.

J'ai commis...Tu as gagné... J'étais... 

The words never have any real meaning, they are just usually different conjugations of verbs: past tense, imperfect, future perfect, or past perfect. It's never loud enough for me to be truly distracted or to fully comprehend what French words I'm thinking, but if I'm lost in my non-thought world for too long, I find myself lulled in a weird French trance and when I come out of it, I sometimes respond to a question in French. I wish I were kidding. 

I don't want anyone to think that I'm developing another stress disorder (goodness knows that one is enough!). My brain has a funny way of helping me overcome challenges. For instance, when I had to memorize all of the major scales on my clarinet last year, I found myself unconsciously fingering the most difficult scales while walking around campus or even talking to a friend. One person finally pointed out, "Why are you constantly tapping your fingers?" I don't really know why I do it! It happened when I was learning how to type well in fifth grade and was trying to remember the placements of the keys on the keyboard.  I would be sitting anywhere and be constantly typing the order of the alphabet. 

Don't get me wrong, it has its perks! I absolutely hated the F# scale on clarinet; how many sharps could there BE in one key? Gracious! After a few days of my weird habit, however, I could play it with ease. It's now one of my favorite scales to play!

I hate conjugating verbs in French, especially trying to decide between the imperfect and the past tense while telling stories. I feel that my brain summoned the Angel of French to help me get over this period of hatred I have towards the French language. It's kind of an eerie feeling, like my subconscious is whispering French words to me while I'm sleeping. Like a stalker or a creep who wears a mask and kills actors in an opera house in Paris so that I can get the best roles in the opera. Is he helping me? We'll see when I get this last test back! Until I cross this valley of misery that is French class, I have a feeling he will always be here in my mind, mon ange de Français.

It frightens me.

Ra-ra ra-ra...Look! That's us!

There's a really funny phenomenon that happens during sports games: a prime example of Narcissism in America. Every game, the camera men not only film the athletes but during time-outs or moments of high emotion in the crowd, they will also film spectators in the stands. There is a variety of emotions that we see: oblivious, slight interest, and then the most entertaining, wild out-of-control excitement. The last one is my favorite to observe but it also puzzles me.

Playing in pep bands for men and women's basketball games, I've been to a lot of basketball games. No matter how hard I try, I cannot understand the crazed enthusiasm that follows a shot of themselves on the video board. Do you not have mirrors in your apartment? Maybe you're one of those people who gets really excited to see yourself in the mirror in the morning! Dang, I look good! I'm going to jump around and cheer really loudly because I get to see my face!

Maybe not.

Or perhaps it's excitement over the advancement of technology. Let's cheer really, really loudly because that camera waaaay over there is advanced enough to capture me on film and play it on that really big screen!

I really don't get it. Perhaps it's one of those things that you've always wanted to do! Be caught on the big screen. Okay, that's plausible but then try and explain to me why on earth you would spend those precious few seconds either looking up at the screen watching yourself look like a spastic fan or my other favorite, pushing everyone around you and screaming, "WE'RE ON THE SCREEN!" Well, it's too late now, buddy. You spent all that time freaking out and you missed your "big" moment.

The required exuberance, the numerous high fives and "Cool, man! We were on the screen!" that accompanies video screens at sports games is practically second nature in our society. Perhaps I'm the weird one for not finding it the highlight of my game when I'm on the screen. That's probably the case.

Still. Don't even get me started on kissing cams.

J'adore la langue d'anglais

A new semester has begun and although it's only been 2 weeks, it feels like school had never ended for Winter Break. I love the first weeks of school. You're still figuring out what each class will be like, trying the gage the level of pain that will be inflicted upon you, but more importantly, you begin to see what new things you get to learn. There's just so much hope in the beginning.

I have two English Language classes this semester: Semantics & Pragmatics and Phonetics & Phonology. Phonetics & Phonology is going to be one of my favorite classes this semester, of that I am sure!

Let me give you a little taste of what my last class period was spent discussing. Vowels. Vowel shapes, english dialects and their different vowels and diphthongs, what's going on in your mouth and pharynx when you formulate different vowels, I could go on and on! 

We spent a good 5 minutes playing Vowel Space on this site, discussing how it shows the relationship between the resonance in the pharynx and the mouth, and the strain this application has played on my professor's marriage. It definitely has take-home applications as well! The next time someone comes home to your apartment or house, turn off the lights and wait until they come in and begin to play the sounds. I guarantee they will think you are the creepiest or coolest person in the world! 

I have also discovered a justification for having watched the BBC Pride and Prejudice about 25 times in my life time. As my teacher was trying to help us understand the difference between [æ] and [a] and he told us that [æ] sounds like the vowel in "trap". [a] sounds like the British pronunciation of "trap". My professor was concerned for a moment if that would be an adequate example for the vowel. Never worry, Professor Elzinga. Without even thinking, this beautiful man appeared on my shoulder.

I told him, "Colin, I need your help with a British pronunciation for the word 'trap'." Without a hesitation, he replied, "Trap." It was spot on. Colin comes in handy for remembering the pronunciation of other vowels like [ɜ]. "Colin, how do you say 'nurse'?" "Nurse." 

It's going to be a beautiful semester, learning how to actually speak French, studying the second half of New Testament seriously for the first time in my life, learning more about the functions and implications of the English Language, playing in two beautiful music ensembles, and of course, training myself to become a skilled phoneticist. It seems tricky at first, but I must remember that anything is possible, especially when I've got my shoulder angel, Colin Firth, by my side. 

Will Shakespeare

I didn't always like Shakespeare growing up. Perhaps it was because my first encounter with it was my sophomore year of high school and my teacher had us listen to Romeo and Juliet on CD for 4 days (Romeo sounded like a prissy teenager who hadn't gone through puberty) and watch an inappropriate version of A Midsummer's Night Dream. Or perhaps it was because I simply read the words on the page and answered the questions on the test without really getting to know who the characters truly are. The first time I read Hamlet, I thought the characters were crazy and their intentions and motivations beyond my own understanding. 

Shakespeare seemed to write books meant for people who read books by candlelight and dressed themselves in Renaissance clothing. Boy, was I wrong.

My AP English class my senior year changed everything. My teacher, Mrs. McDougall, took such a different approach to Shakespeare that I absolutely loved! We would role play during class and take turns playing Hamlet or Ophelia and answering questions about our intentions or how we felt about certain things. The day that I stood in front of the class as Hamlet, defending my own supposed madness and what led to it was the day that I truly began to understand Hamlet as a person.

There's something entrancing about Hamlet's character and how his rage both drives him and defines his character. He's complex and witty and I love reading his insults that completely go over people's heads. I love other Shakespeare plays, but there's just a certain something about this play that I can't get over. Shakespeare was a genius because he was able to capture raw emotions and feelings that are as true now as they were when "thee" was a common pronoun. 

Every time I read Hamlet, I am blown away by the beauty of its words. Call me a romantic, but even the darkest of Shakespeare's tragedies are tinged with an allure and elegance when they are told in iambic pentameter. 

But break, my heart, for I must hold my tongue. 

O, woe is me! To have seen what I have seen, see what I see. 

I must be cruel, only to be kind: Thus bad begins and worse remains behind.

A major part of coming to understand Hamlet was watching the Kenneth Branagh movie version. It's so true that you really need to see Shakespeare to truly appreciate it. Here's one of my favorite scenes where Hamlet makes the decision to finally act instead of scheme. Magnificent. Now here is a proper Shakespearean actor.  

As an English Language major, I get to take all sorts of fun classes like English Semantics & Pragmatics and English Phonetics and Phonology. However, this means I don't get to take all of the English literature analyzation classes. I miss it, the essays, the questions, and the new appreciation of authors. Sigh. However, I do have one class that I am looking forward to taking to cover one of my General Education requirements. Take a look!

Perfection.

Leave Me In Peace

Thanks to my Biology class, I have a strange fixation with leaves. I am still working on my experiment that involves the pigmentation of leaves in different elevations and I could have been spotted prancing around Provo last night with my friend, Kacy, collecting dozens of leaves. This is the best part of the season where there is still beautiful color in the trees and the large tempting piles of leaves have yet to be sucked up by the campus ground crews. In a few more weeks or perhaps days, all the leaves will have fallen away into the crevice of winter and the desolation of finals. Gracious.

In honor of my new love of leaves, I present two of my favorite songs that I sing to myself as I work on my project.

Yeah, they used toast. Can they be any more legit?

More Simon & Garfunkel; don't you just love them with all your heart?

The Indignity

Registration for next semester's classes are upon us. First of all, it's always difficult for me to focus on my life in 3 months while I've got midterms breathing uncomfortably in my face. Seriously, midterms: take a few steps back and brush your teeth more often. Thus is life. We are never allowed to live 100% in the moment because we always need to look forward. It's our basic human instinct. What's next? What's next?

We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths. -Walt Disney


I am a serious planner. I have 5 different graduation plans saved on my computer, all of them with different variations depending on going on a mission, doing internships, getting a minor in French (Yeah, that's probably NOT going to happen.), getting married and needing to graduate faster, or just going through the motions and graduating in 4 years flat. It's a little excessive, I admit, but it makes me feel like I can somewhat control the future. Funny joke, right?

As I was looking at my registration date online, I was frustrated because I have to wait soooo long to register! Why is this so? I'm a sophomore now and I've been potty trained and everything! Time to take off the training wheels, BYU! Surely I must be moving up the totem pole. To my dismay, this is what I saw:

Can you believe that? Freshman? Me?! No, they must be mistaken. So I called the Records Office, and they confirmed this heinous truth. Even though I am a sophomore in reality, credit wise I am considered a Freshman because I have only taken 28.5 credits and you need 30 to be a sophomore in terms of registration dates. Despicable. So for the next 5 days, I will stop at midnight and think to myself, "Someone is taking a place in my ELang 322 class at 10:00 AM that I really wanted to get into. Cool. Love that person. I hope they enjoy the class."

I realize that I will be able to change around my schedule after I register, but just once I would love to register and get into every single class I want to at the time I want to the first time. One time, I'd love to not have to stalk the registration website for the classes I want, waiting for someone to drop my desired class. One time, I wish that would be the case. Someday. Sigh. Someday.


On the bright side, Coldplay's new CD, Mylo Xyloto, has met all of my high expectations. I highly recommend purchasing this fine display of artistic mastery.

The Right Track

During a lecture this past week, my Doctrine and Covenants teacher asked us to think to ourselves and truly examine if we are in the right major for us. He said that some of us might have an unsettled feeling and we may already know we're going into the wrong career.

Rewind a year ago. A year ago, I was preparing to audition for the School of Music on my trusty clarinet. I was playing music for hours a day, working hard in my lessons, and suffering from all of the normal stress and anxiety of a freshman while also worrying continuously about my impending audition. There were many vital things I needed to fix before my audition and I found myself trying to fix habits that had grown over 9 years in just about 4 months.

I was a basket case.

I tend to be very tunnel visioned about things in my life. When I really want something, that is all I can focus on and I work until I reach my goal. It has been that way with the Nebraska Children's Choruses I sang with, becoming a Drum Major in high school, making All State and Honor Bands, and getting into BYU. This audition was the first thing that I felt that even though I was trying will of my heart, I might not succeed. It was the passing of an illusion that I had grown up with: all of your dreams will come true if you only believe and work hard enough. When I got that email in February informing me that I had not gotten into the program, I think that was the moment I started to become an adult.

I don't mean to say that being an adult only involves disappointment and hardships but it does entail gaining a realism that no matter how many books you read on the subject, you just don't understand deep disappointment until it happens to you.

It was hard. My focus was so tightly pointed at that one goal, that it was disorienting at first. I didn't know where to go from there. Thankfully, I was in an Honors English class and also working on a student journal on campus. Once I got over the initial heartbreak, I began to realize how much happiness my writing class brought me. I used my English assignments as a break, a release, from the boring and miserable Geology readings. I loved to write.

It took me a few weeks to get over my results, many phone calls home, numerous prayers, lots of hugs from my friends and family, and one life-changing pep talk from my Dad, and I was ready to move on. I began to look at English courses and all of a sudden it clicked. It felt like I had just broken up with my supposed soul mate only to realize that my best friend had been right there the whole time and was the right person all along!

I have since changed to English Language, and the feeling I get coming from my ELang 223 class is something that cannot be expressed in words alone. I get giddy, exhilarated, and am bursting at the seams with excitement after each class, ready to spill my love of the language on the next person I see.

Here I am, 1 year later, listening as my D&C teacher urged us to look inside ourselves to see if we've chosen the right major. I waited for the feeling of dread, of doubt and a miserable realization that I had got it wrong again. It didn't come.

Golden Nuggets

I won't bring down this blog by reiterating the bitter disappointment that was experienced during the BYU game tonight.

There was one part of the game that really affected my outlook on our loss.

As the student rep of the band, I was in charge of delivering granola bars and water to the Utah band. I'm not one of those BYU fans who thinks that all Utah fans are horrid and inhuman; why should an affiliation with a university change your worth in the world? As we delivered the granola bars and carried up several coolers of water and cups, several band members from their band personally thanked us but what surprised me is the number of Utah fans that took the time to express their admiration for our service and gratitude for helping their band. It was a small moment where a small group of us temporarily forgot the game ahead of us and treated each other as friends.

I was exhausted from the hours of preparation for the game. My arms were limp from hauling water coolers and my legs a little sore from sprinting around the stadium several dozen times. But it didn't really matter in that brief moment because people noticed our hard work and took the time to thank us. And they were wearing red shirts. How ironic is that?

A game lost but a better appreciation for the depth of humanity gained. A decent tradeoff in the long run.